The Weight We Carry

The room was smaller than I expected. Just a round table, a few chairs, and that big map on the wall with pins stuck in places I didn’t recognise. Seth had asked me to sit in. First time. I kept my mouth shut and tried to look like I belonged there.

They were already talking when I arrived. Two older men I didn’t know the names of yet, and Garret leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Fahrad sat at the head, quiet as always.

“Three days now,” one of them said. His voice was rough, like he’d been repeating the same sentence for hours. “If we move a team in, we lose the listening post at Strahnbrad. We’ve spent six months building that.”

The other man shook his head. “And if we leave him, he’s dead. Or worse.”

A short silence. Someone shifted in their chair. The fire popped.

Seth didn’t say anything at first. He just looked at the map, then at the two men.

“We wait,” he said finally. Flat. No anger. No discussion. Just the decision.

The first man nodded once. The second one looked like he wanted to argue, but he didn’t. He just rubbed a hand over his face and leaned back.

“That’s it then,” he muttered.

No one argued. No one asked if there was another way. They just… accepted it. Like they’d done it a hundred times before.

After the others left, Seth stayed. He poured two cups of something that had gone cold hours ago and pushed one across the table toward me.

“You were quiet,” he said.

“Trying to learn the rules,” I answered.

He gave a short, tired laugh that didn’t reach his eyes.

“There aren’t many rules left. Just the ones we make up so we can sleep at night.” He took a sip and made a face. “You’re wondering why we didn’t go after him.”

“I’m wondering why nobody even suggested it.”

Seth looked at me for a long moment. Then he set the cup down.

“Because we’ve buried too many already. And every time we lose one, the next decision gets a little easier. That’s the part nobody tells you when you first sit at this table.”

He stood up, the chair scraping against the stone floor.

“Get some rest, Willers. Tomorrow we start teaching you how to live with it.”

He left me sitting there with the cold tea and the map full of pins. I stayed a while longer, listening to the fire crackle and trying not to think about how quiet the manor had become.